When you’re in desperate need for housing on Salt Spring, it is no laughing matter. Yet, the process of checking out places and being checked out by landlords often teeters between semi-tragedy and dark comedy. I’ve had to to look for a rental twice in the past two years, and it’s been quite an adventure, from the prospective landlord who said she could only rent to me if I married her to the one who downplayed the rodent situation while noting “if you set out traps, you’ll catch about one a night.”

It’s easier to see the humour and absurdity in it all once you have secured your next abode, which thankfully I recently have done. But for those currently in the thick of it, here are some tips and tales to aid you in your quest and perhaps make the process a bit more enjoyable.

I’m sure long-time SSI renters have some different and likely better advice than what I’ve gleaned from my relatively small sample size. On the other hand, some of my tips come from having been a homeowner elsewhere and from querying a few local landlord friends. Probably my biggest overall tip is to consider the landlord’s perspective along with your own dire plight, as you need to reassure landlords that their asset, often their most valuable asset, will be in good hands with you.

To get started, I would peruse the Salt Spring Exchange housing for rent on a daily basis. But alas, a surprising number of landlords don’t list anywhere publicly, which means there is even more of an onus on you to make yourself a viable and visible tenant candidate.

* Post your plight. Make rental housing wanted posts on The Exchange and elsewhere. You don’t need to go on and on about your housing situation in public postings, as landlords understand that pretty much everyone posting is in a pickle. Be succinct in describing yourself and your plight and be clear about your timing and what you’re seeking. You may be surprised by how many landlords contact you with rental options that aren’t publicly listed.
* Get personal vouchers. When you make a housing wanted post on social media, it really helps to have people who know you vouch for you. This might happen organically in response to your housing rental wanted post, but if not, prod a couple of friends or co-workers to reply to your post with why you would make an ideal tenant.
* Do the math. It’s tempting when a landlord contacts you with a place that seems a lot nicer than the ones you’ve been looking at, to consider something beyond your budget. Figure out and stick to your upper price limit, and accept that you will likely end up with a place close to your upper limit because that’s how it usually seems to go.
* Write your own review. You need references and hopefully you are on good terms with your past landlords. Offer to draft a reference letter for them to sign. I made each reference letter unique so they seemed legit, but in all of them I made sure to note that I paid the rent on time and kept things in good condition.
* What goes around. If you have to move because your landlord has decided to sell, it’s tempting to wish them a bad housing market or worse. But even though your landlord’s decision is turning your life upside down, refrain from wishing them unwell. You’re trying to put out positive energy to find a good place, so focus on manifesting that. It’s good karma to root for things to work out well for your landlord. I lived in one rental in Duncan before moving to SSI, and despite being very disheartened when my landlord put it on the market, I made the place look fantastic for photos and showings. I didn’t do it for strategic purposes, though it played a role in new owners kicking out the downstairs tenant but keeping me on for a year before they would move upstairs.
* Tell everyone, and I mean everyone. In addition to posting on The Exchange and social media, make sure all your friends and acquaintances know about your search. I tried to make sure all my friends knew I needed a rental, but I unfortunately failed to include some local social media “friends.” I ran into one of them while I was in desperate housing search mode, and she had just rented out her home that would have been perfect for me and my daughter. She said she wished she had known I was looking. Facepalm!

As you hopefully set up some viewings, start taking some steps to make yourself presentable.

* Do your research. Before going to view a place, Google the landlord and the location to see if anything interesting pops up. If it’s in an area you don’t know, check online for any recent issues (crime, sewage, water) or fun happenings. If the landlord is on social media, scroll through their accounts for any red or green flags, and check to see if you have friends in common. For a furnished place I was looking at, the one social media friend in common is a huge partier, so it gave me a clue that this place might be a little worse for wear.
* Time it right. Arriving late to a viewing without giving notice that you’re running behind makes a landlord question your ability to do what you say you will do, including paying the rent on time. Show that you value their time as well as their property. A landlord friend has coined the term “flaky feely” for people who don’t show up on time or at all, and try landlords’ patience by taking a long time to see if the place has the right energy.
* Appear presentable. It is sort of like going on a blind date. It probably doesn’t matter what you wear, although maybe put something over your death metal t-shirt. A recent shower or at least some last-minute deodorant is a good idea. Also, the prospective landlord may see what vehicle you’re driving, so don’t have it looking like a mess, because it can seem indicative of how you will treat their property.
* Children are often better not seen and not heard. Because there’s no guarantee on how a young child will behave, maybe arrange to leave them at home as even the slightest bit of rambunctious or rebellious behaviour could give a landlord the jitters. Teens, on the other hand, might be good to bring depending on their personality and involvement in the housing search to get their take on the place and the landlord’s vibe.
* Dog-gone it. It’s great that some landlords allow pets, but it is understandable that many don’t. Never lie about having a pet as that is uncool and a major lease violation; however, some landlords you can win over by pleading your case supported by things such as reference letters from previous landlords attesting to how well-behaved Scruffy or Simba is. If you’re considering getting a pet, one strategy that has worked out for a couple of friends is to wait until you’ve signed a lease and proved yourself a conscientious tenant before proposing a puppy to a pet-wary landlord.
* Inhale through your nose. Always ask if there is or has been a problem with mould, and see if you spot any in the kitchen, bathroom, laundry as well as window sills. And—hopefully your sinuses are clear—rely on your sense of smell. Do the curtains smell like an ashtray, do the carpets smell like wet dog, is there just an old people smell, or floral scents that seemed designed to mask something funky? Some odours are treatable, some you can live with, and some will bum you out every time you come home.
* Pantry RAID. An obvious red flag is when you see rodent traps, or cans of RAID in plain sight. It doesn’t necessarily mean these places are more infested than others, but it does mean the landlords are either not on their presentation game, don’t give a rat’s ass what you think or are simply straight shooters coping with a problem. It’s hard to know which. My strategy is to keep them talking, with an ear for revealing comments. While I appreciated the man’s honesty, I still get the willies thinking about a landlord who said there wasn’t much of a rodent problem before noting that if I set out traps, I would catch about one a night.
* Sound check. If it’s a shared building, ask how sound carries between walls and ceilings. I once rented a place where the snoring of the downstairs neighbour felt as if we were sharing a bed. Also, find out a bit about other people living on the property, including how much they’ll be around.
* Feeling flushed. The bathroom, especially if you have roommates and just one bathroom, is a key room to consider. Check the water pressure, the exhaust fan, and ask about the septic system–one landlord said we would have to burn all used toilet paper in the wood stove. Tune in to your comfort level and that of your roommate(s); for me, some self-composting toilets are fine, others not so much.
* Prepare your story and listen up. Think in advance about what the landlord will want to know about you. It’s easy if you have a simple story of why you need a place—landlord moving in, new to the island—but especially if it’s more complicated, plan out a bit how you want to weave your tale. But don’t go on too long about it, because the longer you talk, the more likely you’ll say something that is a red flag. I prefer to keep the landlords talking. One place seemed great until the landlord, who lived on the property, started relating all the fights and feuds he’s had in recent years.
* Ask and ye shall perceive. If the landlord doesn’t bring it up, make sure to ask at every viewing about water supply, septic, heating, mould, rodents, and cell coverage—and test the latter yourself. By asking a fair bit of questions, while being wary of coming across as high maintenance, you learn not only the answers, but get a sense of how well the landlord takes care of the property and is accessible and amenable to making fixes.
* Be on notice. In addition to being on the lookout for concerns such as water damage, mould, and gaps in window seals, try to notice things that can spark a connection and conversation. At my new rental, I saw a University of Michigan mug in the kitchen which led to a good conversation about our respective backgrounds. Anything from art or books to something growing in the garden can ease the tenant/landlord divide and make you stand out from other applicants.

After you’ve done a viewing, there are some followup things that are good to do.

* Be in touch. After a viewing, send a thank you text or email as well as any further questions. Later, once you’ve confirmed your housing, it’s a good practice to inform the other places you’ve seen that you’re no longer interested. You never know in the tenuous world of rentals if your new place will fall through, so it's a good strategy to be on good terms with other landlords, plus on a small island you never know when your paths will cross again.
* Take a second look. When you find a place where there’s mutual interest, come back at a different time of day and have a walk or drive around and tune into your senses. Are there yappy dogs or a rooster next door? Do you see anything fun that could be part of a new routine, like a farm stand or nature walk?
* Price check. I try to find online what the place last sold for, in order to assess whether the rental ask is in line with the prices of other places for rent that sold for a similar price. Then, once the landlord seems keen on you, consider whether it’s worth asking for a lower rent. Landlords want the right person, and especially if you know that they have been looking for a while, you may actually be in a good negotiating position.
* Be open to alternative arrangements, but only up to a point. One woman who contacted me about renting her place explained that for legal reasons she could only rent to me if I married her on paper. That was a hard no. At another place, the landlords planned to stay on the lower level for a week each Christmas, and because of that the downstairs bathroom located next to the wood stove would be off limits the whole year. That was a soft no because I knew we would end up occasionally using the second bathroom and I didn’t want to either lie or beg for access. Another landlord said once a month she would stay over in a trailer in the backyard and that the whole backyard, including a sweet little greenhouse, would be off limits. That felt okay in part because I correctly sensed that she would soon grant access to the backyard–it didn’t seem feasible to grow things in a greenhouse with monthly watering–and it ended up being a great place to live.

Okay, that’s about it. The last thing is to have faith you will find something decent and that it won’t be perfect. Good luck out there! And apologies in advance to any landlords who get hoodwinked by a problematic tenant following my fool-proof tips to secure decent housing.